4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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