Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
