Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
