I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
