I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
