I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
