I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
