I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
he thought i was a dude.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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