i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
we're so committed to being not committed
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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