when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
