This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I wish you could order shots online.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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