butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Randomize
