I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
