just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Let's get the cat blown out
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
