Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
