She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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