I'm going to jail i love you
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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