He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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