a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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