Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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