working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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