Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
