Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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