Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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