imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
