After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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