first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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