I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
