I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
