Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
