Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
