I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize