i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
