just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
