I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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