proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
