Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
