why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
