i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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