yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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