dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
