I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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