she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
