there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize