No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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