Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
soo... how was my night?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
