Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
