just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
