it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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