we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
