I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
