the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
