can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
So many bounce houses so little time
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Randomize
