theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
