she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
