At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
