if i can run in heels then i can drive
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
