plz talk dirty to me
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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