You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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